Three Years and Counting

He said...

Tomorrow is the third anniversary of our engagement. Most of you have heard our story of how we met in Taiwan, both came back to BYU, eventually dated, and decided to get married. It's a long story with lots of details, so I don't want to retell it here. I did want to share a few things I realized from reminiscing with Jaclyn. I think these things helped me clarify how I felt and acted when we were dating. [This turned into a longer entry than I thought.]

First, Jaclyn must have had a lot of patience and love for me because I did some really weird things while dating her. For example, one evening I told Jaclyn that I liked her but also told her during the same conversation that I wasn't going to do anything about it. (Yikes!) Or I told her I loved her during the summer but then I blew her off when she came back to Provo that fall. (Ouch!) If I could do it over, I would do many things differently. I was not "smooth" or even "semi-smooth" on a lot of things. In fact, I was probably more like rough sandpaper. And that is exactly why I know Jaclyn loved me so much. Even though I didn't treat Jaclyn as well as I should have, she focused on what really mattered and saw me for who I could be. That is one reason why I look up to her so much and love her dearly.

Second, I wish I would have better prepared for engagement and marriage. This may be something everybody wishes, but I truly wish I would have spent more time thinking about what I needed to contribute to a successful relationship. I noticed that people would ask me "Is she the one?" but maybe the better question for people to ask would have been "Are you prepared for the one?"

Jaclyn and I had dated from April to September and I had thoughts about marriage early on. I was nervous and still waiting for the answer through October, November, and early December. It took me a while to figure out what I really wanted in a spouse and marriage. In the beginning I spent more time thinking about "who" I wanted to marry and not enough time contemplating "what" I wanted in a wife and in a relationship.

I remember walking home from an early morning church meeting and finally realizing my problem and felt an immediate peace. The rest of my answer from the Lord followed very quickly. That feeling was a turning point for me because I no longer had worries or doubts that Jaclyn was who I should ask to marry me. Jaclyn had the qualities I wanted and needed in a spouse.

From there we talked more openly and seriously about marriage and were unofficially committed that December. We finished finals, celebrated the holidays, and I finally got time off from the MTC to go down to Vegas to purchase a ring and make it official on Thursday, January 5, 2006.

There is so much more I could say about Jaclyn, but this is a good start...